Some Deep Golf Thoughts:

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more
club or use two more balls.

If you're afraid a full swing might reach the green while the foursome ahead
of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a
lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top the ball halfway

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about
the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

When an amateur golfer takes a lesson, it is sure to screw up his swing even
more than it was before.

If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

Golfers who claim they don't cheat on their score also lie.

 A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt ...................for a 6.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he accidently breaks a rule is
like expecting him to make fun of his swing.

Nonchalant putts count the same as serious putts.

It's never a "gimme"  if you're still the farthest one out.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight
line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces that are just the
way you meant to play it.

You can hit a two acre wide fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90%
of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, take it up at a much earlier age.

The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% in your head.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the
beginning of the next group of three.

 When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at
exactly the moment when you should start watching the ball if you ever want to
see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he will subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the game of golf.

To calculate the speed of a players downswing, multiply the speed of his
back-swing by his handicap;
 i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15,  downswing = 300 mph.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and
checking the position of your hands:
how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards always attract, fairways repel.

You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball, but you can't
put a straight on the ball.

A ball you can actually see in the rough from 50 yards away is probably not

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball will be
the one in the bunker.

If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.